A Comfort Kit!
I wanted to first thank all who read my post on Tuesday. I know it was very emotional and hard for some to read, that explains my absence yesterday. Writing that piece, and putting it out there, made it really hard for me the rest of the afternoon and into yesterday. I’ll go into that at a later date. Thank you for all the support and prayers and much sent love, they are very much appreciated. Tim and I are truly blessed to have you guys in our lives.
Back to today’s post. A week after our miscarriage, I ran across this tweet on Twitter about A Comfort Kit, for those who have had or are going through a miscarriage. This was perfect, it couldn’t have come at a better time for me. I read about the organization and thought what a brilliant idea for someone to put together a cute little package of junk food, cozy socks and a movie rental to help distract you at this most emotional time during loss.
Through the Heart is a Non-profit organization and is ran on donations. The Comfort Kits started in December 2013, as a new program to provide distraction and relief for those who have recently suffered a pregnancy loss- free of charge. Each Kit is full of items to pamper oneself, including personal care items, sweet and savory snacks, and a Redbox movie rental code. Information about the organization and a handwritten note from it’s President also adds to the personal touch.
The package got sent 2-3 days after I signed up for it, and didn’t expect to receive it so fast. Once I opened up the package, it touched me…it was so special to receive such a personal special gift. It meant a lot…it did bring some tears to my eyes. Inside included some cute cozy socks, some candy and a granola bar. Some lotion and lip gloss. It was very sweet. It was nice to receive such a gift from a stranger. I know that sounds funny, but until you have lost a baby, (or two) you tend to think everyone is walking on eggshells around you. People don’t know what to say, and what is said, can be taken to heart by a Mother going through the loss. (I’m working on a post of things Not to say to someone going through a miscarriage.)
Here are some ways to support a couple going through a loss.
Dealing with Loss indirectly:
- …”one of the best things you can do is just let the person(s) know you are thinking about them- a call, email, text or a card can go a long way.”
- …”Check back in a few weeks or months down the road- the initial support can wear off quickly.”
- …”addressing the situation- if s/he doesn’t want to talk about it, they’ll let you know; it may be more uncomfortable for everyone if you act like nothing happened.”
- …”Cliches- such as “everything happens for a reason” or “it’s in God’s hands” may not be helpful and in reality, might sometimes be hurtful- remember that not everyone shares the same faith and beliefs.”
- …”bring/send a gift, food may be a good idea; you may want to consider gift cards to restaurants (particularly ones that have drive thru or take out)”
- …”Baby’s due date- it may be nice to remember it with a small gift or note to the parent(s); they, of course, will remember that date and it may be difficult.”
- …”The father has suffered a loss as well; while the focus is often on the mother because of the physical aspect, the couple is grieving together.”
The mission of Through the Heart is to educate and support anyone who is experiencing a pregnancy loss either directly or indirectly.
Dealing with Loss directly:
- “Personal Time- take time off for yourself, while people may expect you to recover quickly, the reality is that it can be a long process.”
- “You are NOT to blame- don’t feel that you could have done something differently”
- “Judgement- don’t worry about being blamed by others, only you know your unique, personal situation”
- “Mourn- remember, grieve in whatever way feels right to you- plant a tree, purchase a special piece of jewelry”
- “Ask for help- don’t be afraid to ask people for specific help; if you’re not sure what you need, it’s ok to vocalize that too”
- “Talking it out- may help, seek a counselor or therapist may be helpful”
Speak Out and break the silence about pregnancy loss! Below are some ways you can help.
Ways you can help Through the Heart:
Join: The Conversation on Twitter by using #pregnancyloss #babyloss #waveofflight #Iremembermybaby or #mybabywascalled
Give back: make a donation so the organization can continue with what they are doing. I am so happy knowing there are others out there I can talk to other then family. You can reach out: www.throughtheheart.org
If you know anyone going through a loss, or if you yourself have suffered a loss in the last year, I would recommend reaching out for a Comfort Kit.
That’s all I got for you today guys, have a good evening.